Alright, what is it this time. I thought you had already told Me, on My birthday itself, that you no longer believed in Me.

Well, God, it is like this. I’ve come to realize that belief in you gives hope, and hope is exactly what I’m clinging to now!

Alright, what is it.

God, you must know about what’s plaguing the world now—tsunamis, H1NI, Aids, the financial meltdown, global warming, the increasing gap between the rich and the poor, the exploitation of women and children…

You’re not going to ask Me to solve all these problems?

God, it’s actually not so much a request as a kind of a bargain. You do this for us, we do something back for you.

And what is that something that you can do for Me?

Well, God, what I mean is that we are not ungrateful. If You can save the world from its plight and You’re the last hope, for the world’s leaders are completely helpless though they come together for one international conference after another, just look at the Copenhagen Conference—God, if you can do this for us, surely we will show our gratitude in some way.

You still haven’t told Me what.

We could all come together to honour you better, for instance, make sure your commandments are better observed, the Seven Deadly Sins are less frequently committed. We could start with a proper formalisation of this promise, in order to monitor things properly, such as start an organization along the lines of a world bank that the financial experts have recommended, which countries should contribute towards, to avert a future global financial crisis, only it won’t be dollars or euros or yuans, but the currency of spiritual merit. We could come up with a suitably respectful name for this special unit of currency. All countries, regardless of their religion, would willingly subscribe to this common fund, for after all, they have the same common urgent goal of saving the planet and hence saving themselves. So, God, how about…

You’re asking Me to say on the first day, ‘Let there be no more carbon emissions,’ on the second day, ‘All the devastated forests of the world, resurrect yourselves!’, on the third day, ‘You, H1N1 virus, are forever banished from the face of the earth…

Hey, God, I like your sense of humour! But seriously, God, you can do anything. After all, you’re omnipotent, which means you are all-powerful, you’re omniscient which means you know everything, including the future, and you’re omnibenevolent which means you will always do what is good for your creatures. So God, what about—

Don’t try that old argument with Me. You know that even God can’t stop natural or man-made disasters.

But God, just one of those omnis would be sufficient to save the world! Take that one on benevolence. If you really care about your children…

Now you’re being presumptuous. Do you presume to say things that even the greatest philosophers, thinkers, scholars and popes are enlightened enough to refrain from?

I’m sorry, God, I don’t mean to be rude, but I was just thinking: what a pity that all that fantastic combined power of the three omnis is not being used, while the planet is suffering…

How do you know? How could you, limited in true understanding as you are, know that at this very moment, I, Creator, Preserver and Protector, am manifesting My plans for humankind in a way that only a loving father can?

God, that’s wonderful! Could you at least tell us about these plans, to give us hope?

Haven’t you learnt by now that I work in mysterious ways which My creatures, if they have faith in Me, should not question?

God, just one very urgent question! Would part of your loving plan be to prevent global warming that the experts tell us would most affect the poorest among your poor, in fact, devastate their homes, deprive them of their livelihood completely?

Do I have to keep reminding you of the Mystery of the Divine Will and Purpose?

Well, God, it looks like I’m getting nowhere. But I’m not giving up hope. Would you allow me to invite you to the negotiating table again sometime in the future?

If I welcomed back the Prodigal Son, I suppose I should show the same patience with a Prodigal Daughter.

Well, thanks a lot, God. See you next time!

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About Vignettes...

A continuing flow of little, readable pieces that will constitute what I feel is an important 'legacy of values' to leave behind. Read more about Vignettes...