Nobody disputes the truth of the proverb ‘Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery’, because of the two self-evident assumptions it is based on: 1) imitation always implies admiration 2) imitation is always in the form of specific action, whether done consciously or unconsciously. Hence if you want to ‘flatter’ a person in the ’sincerest’ way possible, (proverbs are allowed the literary licence of playing around with contradictory language), you couldn’t do better than by imitating him or her.

Imitation, whether of behaviour, style, ideas, attitude, etc. is hence always upwards since no one wants to be like another who is less attractive, wealthy, intelligent or successful than oneself. In other words, it is a tacit acknowledgment of the other’s superiority.

It is this reasoning that makes me experience real unease with regard to two popular standpoints taken on certain social issues, that have now become so entrenched in modern thinking that to argue against them would invite criticism, even outrage. The first rejects the superiority of the male sex, the second the superiority of the West. Not to agree with either is political incorrectness of the first degree, and merits the wrath, in the first case, of women, and in the second, of Asians.

But can they pass the acid test of that indisputable proverb ‘Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery?’

With regard to the first discredited belief, about male superiority: Why is that we are comfortable about women imitating men by wearing male clothes, affecting male behaviour and even taking on exclusive male roles for instance, as women warriors, women bodyguards, etc., but distinctly uncomfortable when it is the other way round, that is, men imitating women by wearing female clothes and affecting female behaviour? ‘Tomboy’ is never the derogatory term that ’sissy’ is.

Is this unease due to a sense, even if vague and inchoate, that something is not quite right, that some universal law or taboo has been broken, thereby meriting disapproval, such as when we instinctively feel embarrassed by an adult exhibiting ‘childish’ behaviour, but smile at a precocious child imitating adult behavior?

With regard to the second discredited belief about western superiority: Why do Asians, when they go for cosmetic surgery, invariably ask for the western double eyelid, the high western nose? Why do young Asians in Japan, Korea, Taiwan and Singapore dye their hair blonde? We have yet to see young Caucasian men and women dye their hair black, ask their plastic surgeons to give them the Asian look, change their names from ‘Michelle’ and ‘Michael’ to ‘Mei Ling’ and ‘Beng Lee’.

Once I was in a taxi, listening to a Mandarin song that contained the refrain ‘Wait for me’ in English, and on another occasion, I was watching a Tamil program on TV, where the Hindi dialogue was interspersed with English expressions such as ‘Don’t worry’, ‘It’s alright’, ‘Have a good time!’ etc. I have yet to come across an American or British song where comparable Asian terms are used.

It’s a feeling of great discomfiture—what the psychologists call ‘cognitive dissonance’ when one’s thoughts don’t seem to fit into a consistent pattern—which I’m still trying to resolve or at least understand better.

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About Vignettes...

A continuing flow of little, readable pieces that will constitute what I feel is an important 'legacy of values' to leave behind. Read more about Vignettes...