You sent for me? This is unbelievable, God! Normally—

Alright. I admit I was getting a little bored. Always the same prayers. Always the same words. I must have heard them zillions of times. You may be exasperating, but at least you provoke reactions other than a yawning expectation.

Wow, I still can’t believe it. Tell you what, God, now that I’m here, could I—

I can see you are getting one of your bright ideas. Alright, what is it.

God, I was thinking of how I was getting nowhere with appealing to all those omni powers of yours, so here’s something else that may strike the right note with you.

What.

God, I know you don’t particularly care for the scientists, especially the physicists who’re trying to find out what happened at the Big Bang, that first moment of creation that’s already been accounted for in the Book of Genesis. But there’s one theory of theirs that I’m particularly excited about, that may at last solve all the problems in the world.

What.

It’s the quantum physicist’s Theory of Parallel Universes, God.

What has that to do with anything, for God’s sake.

Hey, God, are you allowed to take your own name in vain? Ha! Ha! Just a little humorous aside. Now, according to the Theory of Parallel Universes which is very weird indeed, but then, everybody listens when these physicists speak because of the marvelous things they’ve given the world through their discoveries, such as the laser, TV, X-ray, electron microscope, nuclear power, etc etc. Well, according to this bizarre theory, every time a person does something, based on a decision that is just one of many possible decisions, say, my deciding to go to the supermarket instead of to the library or the park or my friend’s house, etc all these alternatives actually take place too, but in different universes which are completely sealed off from each other, completely impenetrable, so that all I am aware of, in my universe, is that I am in the supermarket. And the same goes for all the other me’s in their respective universes, one in the library, another in the park, etc, all cut off from each other. These are parallel universes because they contain parallel, or alternative happenings, people, objects, etc., and also because, like parallel lines, they will never meet. Now isn’t it amazing, God, that right now, while I’m talking to you, I could be talking to an extra-terrestrial, a Neanderthal, the Devil himself in a parallel universe!

Leave that arch enemy out. What are you trying to say.

The theory, if it is right—and it must be right, coming from those brilliant minds—means that there is a parallel universe where the angels never rebelled so that there was no heavenly battle resulting in these rebels being cast into hell and losing their angelic appearance for those dreadful horns and cloven feet, where Adam and Eve never committed that awful sin of eating the forbidden apple because there was no devil to tempt them disguised as a snake, where there was no Original Sin to be passed down the generations, causing human beings to be wicked and make each other miserable, where—

There is no such parallel universe. Your physicists are talking nonsense.

That’s right, God! Suppose for once you show that you can beat them at their own game. So, according to them, there is such a sinless, happy universe somewhere out there, that knows no evil and misery, only that it can never be reached or contacted. Here’s how you outdo those damn scientists, God. You show that this parallel universe can be reached, you grab it and make it replace the wretched one we have! You can do it in seven days, or less. It would be Creation 2, or Genesis Redivivus. Wiping the cosmic slate clean and starting all over again. Wouldn’t that be wonderful? After all, you are God, you can do anything—

Alright, we don’t want to go through all that again. That too can be boring, you know.

Alright, God. That’s the last thing I want to do—bore you. Because I simply have to keep open whatever line of communication I have with you. You won’t hear about parallel universes anymore from me. Promise. But wait, God, there is this strange theory called Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle that just might—

Alright, enough. You know, I’m beginning to be sorry I sent for you. But it was the fault of that angel who has taken it upon himself to relay to Me every ‘Our Father’ that is said in every church every day in every continent in the world. I have been bored for the last one hundred years. I will have to put an end to that self-appointed job.

Hey, God, I’ve got an idea. Why waste all that angelic energy and enthusiasm? Why not re-channel it so that he relays to you instead every cry for help after a natural disaster, every cry for food from hungry children, every plea from Filipinos for Imelda Marcos to release the stolen millions to help those living on the garbage dumps… God, are you still there?

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About Vignettes...

A continuing flow of little, readable pieces that will constitute what I feel is an important 'legacy of values' to leave behind. Read more about Vignettes...